This isn’t an easy thing to say without feeling like a terrible mother, but sometimes I find it hard to ‘like‘ my child. Of course I don’t really mean it. I love him. I love him more than I have ever loved anything in my life. Sometimes I look at him and want to just cry at the sheer overwhelming love. But after hours of tantrums, biting and hair pulling, and feeling like I am just sucking at motherhood, it’s harder to find that loving ‘glow’.
J is a toddler. It’s called ‘terrible twos’ for a reason. Add on top of that the fact J has additional needs and it makes for a volitile combination. There are times I honestly don’t know what to do with him. Distraction, de-escalation and ‘reasoning’ just don’t always work. It’s like a wound up elastic band. You just have to wait for it to run out of that kinetic energy, then deal with the aftermath.
It does put a strain on our relationship at times. It gets to bedtime and i’m exhausted. I sit there and cry inwardly as I feel like I’m a failure. I wonder if life will always be this hard.
But then something happens. Tee and Mo ‘Go to Sleep’ comes on the TV. No matter where in the room we are, J and I will gravitate back to each other like magnets. J will climb on my lap and lay his head on me. I wil sing the lovely song and we just have those few minutes where all is right in the world.
I love J, J loves me ❤
This song helps to keep me sane and stops me slipping into any form of sadness. So by the time I put J in his bed all the craziness and tantrumming of the day is forgotten.
I have recently had the pleasure ofbeing in contact with the songs creator Dom Minns. He says “Tee and Mo is inspired by my mum talking about our relationship when I was very young” and he goes on to say (with an obvious deep understanding and experience) “I really do think it is the most amazing/cool/funny/dramatic/infuriating/nuanced/in-love relationship”.
He isn’t wrong! I feel so many emotions in the space of the first hour of the day. I love that ‘Go to Sleep’ gives me that wind down time with J to just wipe away every negative and enable us to strengthen that bond.
Don tells me that his aim was to “create something for mums and kids to enjoy together, talking about situations that they deal with every day in a way that will (I hope) make them smile“.
He has certainly done this. The way that Tee and Mo has evolved over the years is fascinating. It has been a set of games, stories and songs. As well as ‘Go to Sleep’ there are others such as ‘Are we ready to go?’ and ‘We’re not tidying up’ (which I think is J’s personal mantra).
I admit we haven’t listened to many of the others as J is a bit territorial over it. It confuses him when he sees Tee and Mo doing anything other than going to bed. I am slowly introducing the songs individually to help J feel less anxious over the change in his routine (or expectations). I want him to know that ‘go to sleep’ is our special bedtime song but we can enjoy the others too.
My next step is to buy the album. Maybe listening to the songs without the video first will help. It will also be fun to listen to as the lyrics always make me smirk. I love how they are ‘everyday parenthood’ based. I think most, if not all, parents can find something that makes them say ‘yes that’s us’.
Dom has also shared with me an exciting development. Tee and Mo will be appearing as an animated series, so keep an eye out! I remember getting excited over the Reading line up for years…now I am overjoyed by the thought of a Tee and Mo series. Oh, how motherhood has changed me, haha.
I want to finish off with saying a huge thank you to the whole T&M crew. It’s a song that has saved my sanity and relationship with my son.
Is there a song, book, TV show that is you and your child’s ‘special thing’? What helps keep you sane? I’d love to hear your comments 😊