My top 5 responses to ‘my son has Autism’…

J was officially diagnosed as being Autistic on Thursday. It was expected but I admit, not this soon! I thought we had months of assessments and meetings to battle through but it’s only been a year since first time entering Child Development Centre and getting our diagnosis. 


We have told friends and family, we posted on social media. It was great to have so many supportive comments and messages, including how it doesn’t change how wonderful and clever little man is, how he’s still loved etc. Generally people have been so positive and recognised that it opens doors to more support for J. However, there have also been a few not so positive comments. I don’t think they have been meant in a bad or insulting way but they have made me roll my eyes (and some made me chuckle). 

  1. Oh dear, where’d he get that from?’

Now, this is from an elderly relative. I think she meant genetically as J is first in the family to be diagnosed! I explained it wasn’t an illness, it’s just how he’s programmed. 

2. ‘Well, he’s in a box now’

This is from another family member. He has always said that J is just who he is and he’ll do things when he’s ready. I agree to a degree. He will do things when he feels comfortable but at the same time being in this ‘box’ and having this label will give him more support and open up via opportunities. This is a box I don’t mind us being in! 

3. ‘…he’ll have fun?’

This was in a shop. It was crowded and small. Lots of noise and smells. I know that if J came in with me then he would end up wanting to spin or start to shake his head. It would be too much for him. So he waited outside with Grandma. He kept shouting through the door to me and I would answer telling him what I had (holding it up so he could see). A helpful lady said ‘let him in’, I said ‘he has Autism, if I let him in he’ll…’ she then jumped on and said “he’ll have fun?”. I replied “no he’ll have a sensory meltdown lasting 4-5 hours”. She said ‘oh’ in a haughty derision kinda way and walked away. 

4. ‘What type of Autism does he have?’

Autism, is Autism. Theres no scale of numbers…he’s not ‘Autism level 3’. I know this question was by a family member who has never had anything to do with special needs in any form. So is more out of lack of knowledge than ignorance I think. I explained that there’s ‘high functioning’ and ‘low functioning’ but apart from that’s there’s no scale that’s followed. ‘So he’s not just a little bit Autistic then’…*rolls my eyes*. 

5. ‘Oh dear, do you think it’s because of the injections?’

What? What?! Do people still really believe that? There have been so many studies that have disproven that one doctor. Theres literally hundreds of children vaccinated a month and yet the stats are still 1 in 18 children having Autism. Surely this would be soooo much higher if it was the injections causing it? J’s symptoms starting as a baby so no, I seriously doubt the injections were involved! 

I’m sure that over the next few months and years I’ll hear more ‘interesting’ opinions and questions. I aim to make sure myself and J’s Daddy are armed with answers that will help spread understanding and ‘facts’. I don’t mean to insult anyone who has asked the above questions or made statements similar to these. Often our knowledge comes from tv shows, old school ideas or passed from friend to friend about their friends, hairdressers, stepsons cousin. So ask away, comment away. I’d rather answer questions and provide more relevant information than let that person go around thinking they understand when they don’t.


I’m not afraid to speak about J and Autism. Just as I was never afraid to talk about his communication difficulties. It’s part of who he is, and that is one amazing boy (who is currently watching Cars 2 AGAIN and chewing the tag on the sofa cushion). But just remember…it’s not an illness, it’s not the same for every family and I know what will and won’t set off make him uncomfortable or stressed so trust me! 

What’s the funniest or stupidest thing someone has said to you? Or is there a question you want to ask? Let me know ❤️ 

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14 Comments Add yours

  1. Astrid says:

    I can relate to some of these. I wanted to say though, there’s not “high-functioning” and “low-functioning” autism either. The dichotomous functiooning labels do autistic people on both sides of the fence a disservice. For example, I am diagnosed with ASD level 1, aka “high-functioning” autism, because I am not engaged in repetitive behavior all the time and can hold down a reasonably normal-sounding conversation. However, due to my sensory and executive functioning issues, I benefit most from supports geared towards “low-functioning” people. For example, my day activities fellow clients are all severely intellectually disabled. I am not, but I still can’t cope with a less supportive environment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mummyest2014 says:

      That’s really interesting to read thank you. It shows that different countries and counties give different information. I was told that there are no levels anymore? We were only diagnosed last week so still a learning curve. U.K. System can be confusing x

      Like

  2. Kim Carberry says:

    We are waiting for an official diagnosis for Autism for my youngest…If and when we do get it I know it’s not going to change how we love her but it will mean we can get support for her at school….I have not encountered any stupid comments yet. I am sure I will in time. hehehe

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mummyest2014 says:

      That’s exactly it. It didn’t change anything. We didn’t suddenly ask for a refund for having a faulty child haha. But it definitely gets more support and understanding. Good luck getting diagnosis and opening those doors for your daughter x

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My younger son was diagnosed just before his 4th birthday. Life has actually become easier since the diagnosis. There is a lot more help when you know what you are dealing with x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mummyest2014 says:

      Thanks, we’re at the in between stage now where we’ve been sent loads of paperwork and groups, and just waiting for it all to start. Good to know life gets easier 🙂 x

      Like

  4. I have two Autistic sons and you are absolutely right! Getting a diagnosis changed nothing except my ability to understand and accept them. In fact it’s answered questions about myself. I have not been formally diagnosed yet but do intend to seek that.
    ‘You love the child you have not the one you thought you’d have.’ I love this quote.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mummyest2014 says:

      Thank you, the diagnosis is helpful but not the solution to everything sadly. I love that quote x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Joseph and his Amazing Spectrum Coat says:

    Sounds like you are handling this really well. I recognise some of those responses!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mummyest2014 says:

      Thanks I appreciate that. I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of autism still. We won’t be the last to hear some of these, I’m sure x

      Like

  6. It’s the ‘oh dear’ part that I sometimes get. Sounds like you are doing a good job with responses though. Thanks for sharing them with #spectrumsunday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mummyest2014 says:

      Yeah, some people think it’s a terminal diagnosis or something. I know it’s not something we’d wish for but it’s not a tragedy x

      Like

  7. So glad you got J’s diagnosis early, it really does make a difference. At ten we still definitely get some interesting opinions, I’m not sure you ever really get used to them but your answers probably get more refined. J is very lucky to have such an incredible mummy on his side. #SpectrumSunday

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mummyest2014 says:

      Thanks…at the moment I’m at the ‘rolling my eyes’ phasing, haha x

      Like

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